Reflection on self inspection

Every time I have time off during the ‘Holiday Season’ I usually come back to what I love, that is writing. I have said it for years that this is what I love and I want to do. But every year, something gets in the way, whether it be, being a mother (and all this entails – spending time with family is also included!), working a full time job to pay the bills, cooking dinner, making ‘house’ having a smidgen of a social life, being with my partner in no particular order.

The ‘Holidays’ is also a time for reflection isn’t it? A time for thinking back over the year and reflecting on what we have and what we have achieved. However, every year seems to follow the same old boring pattern or has no one noticed it but me in my measly 29 years of life? We spend Christmas gorging ourselves so we all look like fat Christmas puddings, and spending all our money and the rest of January, proclaiming that we will become this ‘new us’ that will be thinner, leaner, keener and meaner in whatever sense.

However, we are creatures governed by habit, and are designed through our natures to reach out for ‘more,more,more’. I mean let’s face it, if humans hadn’t invented tools we wouldn’t have survived, and possibly neanderthals would be ruling the earth and I can’t see them needing a nutribullet  (or using one for that matter). What I am saying is, without this ‘more,more,more’ attitude we would not have survived in hairy cave man times (scary, glad razors were invented… ).

However, what this ‘more,more,more’ modern attitude has gotten us into is really quite scary, and this is evidently the same every year with reassuringly accurate predictability for some. We are beings that strive for perfection when no such thing exists. I doubt you see an elephant reading a book on how to ‘be leaner, keener, fitter and meaner’ because she can’t get a date. She has baby elephants. She doesn’t worry about the size of her thighs (which I do, actually). But why do we have to do new years resolutions at new year? Why can’t we just pinpoint what we want and do it throughout the year?

For example, my ‘resolutions’ include being better with money, routines, organisation and to sort out my weight, – all elephant metaphors aside. But I was going to do these anyway and not just because it was new year.It has been compelled by putting on a million pounds over Christmas, which always goes to excess in every form. We are tempted to gorge ourselves to the excess just because it’s Christmas. We spend to the excess of our budget just to see the smile on our children’s faces (replace with appropriate person spouse/sibling/granny/parents/old lady down the road just like on the Co-op advert) for a few measly hours. What is wrong with the middle road? What’s wrong with having ‘a little is a lot’ mentality (I may be quoting another advert here… sorry!). What is wrong with the ‘middle ground’ approach. Should we punish ourselves by drinking cabbage soup for a month or should we just cut out the crap and eat more veg?? If we stay the extra hour at work, whom are we helping? Ourselves or our employer?  If we do diet and end up looking like twiggy does this help our brain to function at a better level? Does it enhance our charm? Does it make us laugh more? Does it make us happier or better people? Or just a bit healthier and nicer to look at?

I think there is nothing wrong with excepting ourselves for who we are and I don’t think that should include a month punishing ourselves for what we aren’t. If you want something do it, but you don’t have to do it in January. You can do it in March and no one would bat an eyelid.

Give  yourself a bit of self love, and if your losing weight just leave off the biscuits ok?!





Add comment December 27, 2015 anyoldrubbishreally

Childhood the best days of our lives.

How often is it socially acceptable to sit there in your pants, a tie and a shirt  in front of the tv? Childhood rocks!

Add comment February 18, 2014 anyoldrubbishreally

What does it take to be brave, then?

I have often sat there, at work, in particular, wondering what on earth it takes not to give a fuck. You see I am not one of these people who can walk away from things. I have often wished I could.
However, fate makes us who we are for a reason. If we all didn’t care it would be a horrible place to live, and life would be a bit well, crap really.
And that’s sort of how I came to accept that being kind, (not the same as being walked over) is, well, kind of nice really.

Add comment February 18, 2014 anyoldrubbishreally

Motivational blogging, could there be such a thing?!

Hi there,
Had a good think and after a couple of months I am back.
I have dabbled in blogging before but never done much of it due to lack of time, inspiration, and a busy full life, full of 2 boys, a full time job and a home.
I have had a really shit couple of days emotionally, for various reasons. I went to my mother in law’s, yesterday and this gave me a bit of hope, and a happier outlook. I do a lots of keeping up with people online, from past and present and often join up to newspapers and view videos online, to keep up with the world around me. It’s easier online, you don’t have to go and buy a newspaper or go out anywhere, and it’s a fast, cheap and easy way of communicating information quickly, efficiently and to lots of people all at once. I could go into on here the dangers of ‘over sharing’ and being careful what you put online, because its can come back to haunt you, but that’s not the point of this post.

Going back to my point about the shit couple of days, and videos, may point to a very good, positive aspect of information sharing, when something from another country that you wouldn’t even see if it were not for the power if the Internet. When someone’s wise words give you hope in the midst of your muddle of a life, or sparks an idea that sets your small little world on fire, be it Jamie Oliver, a you tube video or a funny quote from an anonymous donor. This video, subsequently popped up on my facebook wall.

If you kindly watch it you will see that she, as a woman with a unknown condition that stops her from gaining weight, despite all odds, is proud of herself. Despite what others have said to her, she believes in herself and has not let it define her. She, has made her own rules. And she makes people laugh.

Now those of you that know me, know I am not always like her. In fact sometimes, I am the complete opposite. I can worry, cry, be wrought with self doubt. I can be at the bottom of the confidence scale, but people like this do inspire me. They inspire many people in fact, as you can see from the faces of the audience. So I urge you, in her words, to question yourself as to what defines you, and have decided in this instance to start what I would like to call motivational blogging to give me a little release from life.

Add comment February 8, 2014 anyoldrubbishreally

Seasons of mist and mellow fruitless ness can I blog to get me out of this mess?!

So it’s January.  I’m skint. I am bored. The chocolates are well and truly eaten and I got a bit fat.It was lovely but the financial hangover is something I could do without right now. And I want to write something so badly its bursting from within a skyrocket,  like Katy Perry’s song ‘Like a firework’  there is so much enthusiasm but an old journalism tutor is screaming from the confines of my head ‘Have an angle, you just have an angle!’ (See definition of angle here:

Writer’s block screams ‘pressure!’ and puts a big fat hand in my face and stops me.So I figured I would just take the plunge, dive into the murky waters of the unknown,  and stretch my little writer’s fingers. Be brave, not a slave (to the angle, you MUST have an angle Emma!).Did Emma get fat with the help of this mysterious ‘angle? Did the ancient Greeks proclaim the importance of said ”angle’ in their story of creation, or did the great thinkers of the era think the world think about and ponder the wonders of the elusive angle in their thoughts?

No thought not. Always hated maths anyway and this is just practice anyway.  Hope you enjoyed it.

Add comment January 17, 2014 anyoldrubbishreally

Hello I lost you but someone said about blogging out of a hole and its January!

Hi there

Why is January SUCH a depressing month? My purse is empty, so is my fridge and I ended up with tonsilitus and on 2 lots of antibiotics. The impact on me and my partner has been massive… so I thought I would list a few things that are positive this week, or that I can look forward to (and I do not feel they are many at present)….. so here goes:

1] I am going to a free Birthday party on 21st Jan which involves movies and dressing up. And I have a lift.

2] I am getting a refund on a camera on Wednesday. Its  £15.

3] I have stuff on ebay which may sell

4] (I am struggling here) I will be over my tonsilitus soon

5) Sherlock Holmes is on tonight.

6) I will get a Secret Santa at said party.

7) Er I have a family who love me despite said disputes, a loving OH (for future purposes, this is other half),a wonderful mum who helps with childcare, a nice Dad who makes me laugh and a beautiful (if sometimes a pain in the bum,as he is 3 – terrible 2 and 3s you see).

Any other ways to cheer said self up without spending money, that would be good!!

Add comment January 15, 2012 anyoldrubbishreally

Hello world!

So, here I am world, I have never blogged before in my life, I have never written anything online apart from facebook.I have started this because I am a English lit student with a passion for writing, not that that means anything but I have a need to write down something as I haven’t written anything for about 2 years, bar a letter or a job application. I have stories that fly round my head, trying to come out of my ears – annoying me to be put down on paper… the line is always the same or similiar,

‘Everyone has a story, the woman on the bus, the stray cat walking along the street, the people subtly ignoring you on the bus, the people passing in their cars, the woman with a squealing baby…’

So I plan to tell you my story, bit by bit, thought by thought, passion by passion, boring by boring, despair and happiness, not that their is much of that in the world right now. The reason I say the ‘thoughts and feelings of a mummy’ is because I am one, but it doesn’t mean I am not an Emma too, as Jane is not a Jane, or Phoebe isn’t a Phoebe just because a little sprog plops through her into the world. But you seem to lose a bit of that (self) every child you have, especially if you’re a woman. Thats all I have to say right now.

2 comments January 9, 2010 anyoldrubbishreally






August 2020